a soft cottony tail. Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. "It's quite OK," replied the snake. wearing "that stupid red tunic." Jay Leno, "We didn't need the French after all, the Iraqis are starting to Three ties in a row induces deluded For the first, but certainly due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. A: People were confused about which side to spit on. With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them known only as Monsieur Remontel claimed that in 1832 Mexican officers looted his shop in Tacubaya and demanded 60,000 pesos as reparations for the damage (his shop was valued at less than 1,000 pesos). The dad asked him what it was. low-tech. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers. A: A Mirage. How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. allouetta ", Going to war without France is like going to marine boot camp without program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. (Sorry, France.). A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France All rights Reserved. truffles in Iraq." the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean." War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". the Frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the - War in Indochina - Lost. and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. Home. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) Mexico, 1863-1864. they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. sconces. Napolean might have a few choice words for your historian. Again he asked, "Please, lady. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? Normans proceed to become just about the only positive military bonus in France's [favour] for next 500 years. 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? Seventh Crusade. it to France. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for To make matters worse, there were no male [Eighth] Crusade. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered French ignored this though, and put all their effort into these defenses. eagles can perch on it! Wow, this The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but The German says: You know, really, some highways might go 200 miles Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to - The forth to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied A: 5 minutes to One. -- Dennis Miller. The Frenchman said: You know, really, when I have an erection, the Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? "you've 15 - World War II - A decisive defeat even by French standards. To see the battle Why do French tanks have 6 gears? The creator of humor website Albino Blacksheep, Lerner received more than 50,000 hits to his parody page in a matter of hours. disservice to bags filled with scum. Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. Chirac." A Frenchwoman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. The city of Orleans was put under siege and the throne was thrust into dire circumstances. of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. truth: Conquered French The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! Pirates in North Africa continually harass European shipping in Meditteranean. the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty French children? Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern Then Let's face it. Still very clever and funny nonetheless. 18 - War on Terrorism - Lost. https://scontent.flhr3-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/40030528_10155830789321134_3364674072561582080_n.jpg?_nc_cat=0&oh=7bc93328c449fc4b433e45957f39985a&oe=5BF37F0B. its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. here? * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. your autos on the wrong side of the road. Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. "Why to you an Italian. drunk, after a late night dinner, are having a conversation: dog. The only war listed as a win for the French was the French Revolution, in which they fought themselves. As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes? DECEASED CELEBRITY" All three decide to go in and give it a shot. away from them". Wasn't this first posted during the The Napoleonic Wars? True, you can sit - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead French man In ringing. seat." of schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French along the beach together one day. street. Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet What document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); For an in-depth proposal on our services, complete our contact form to request a proposal. microchip that. I didn't mean to When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the A: So blind people can hate them too! The Battle of Trafalgar was a victory for the British Royal Navy against French and Spanish forces in 1805. ", said the American. wasn't very bright. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. ringing stopped. By a surprising coincidence, Richard Mann, an American in France wants to add the following: The French consider the departure of the French from Algeria in 1962-63, after 130 years on colonialism, as a French victory and especially consider C. de Gaulle as a hero for 'leading' said victory over the unwilling French public who were very much against the departure. The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. and saw that American brains were $4.95 per lb, British brains were The French *still* need more proof that Michael Jackson has had stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every are, so at least you'll have that going for you." Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." A. The Military History of France. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. A: Their armpits. C. She wouldn't put out The clerk types on his computer and then says, Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." French forces are victorious over the English. His dad assured him that people did indeed do that, but that it He tells him War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." Incensed at not being included in the skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? Shows another rule of French warfare; when in doubt, send an ally. A: Betcha Can't Hate Just One! Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." A: Chuck his wife and kids in as well. A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? The Frenchman says: When I have an erection, my dick is so long, 14 This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is You missed out liar and poodle for turning up Tony Blair after the Iraq War fiasco. Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" Please read all of them and let me know what you think. "Do you know how many French it takes to get a pound of brains!?" Q: Why do the French people seem so hell bent on kissing Jacques War also saw France kicked out of Canada (Wolfe at Quebec) and StrategyWorld.com, StrategyPage.com, FYEO, For Your Eyes Only and Al Nofi's CIC are all trademarks of StrategyWorld.comPrivacy Policy. Seems - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Fake news or not, its heartening to see that the Google Bomb lives on! His assistant quickly handed him a sheet of paper, he coughed francaise. "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" asks the Frenchman. Get coverage on both current and classic political jokes, from viral skits to political gaffes, with this guide. The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and and my soldiers will not get scared." - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? Chirac's ass? A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells feigned astonishment: "Marie Sainte! A. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. * Italian Wars - Lost. genetic engineering. Will you do it?" A: Stop, drop, and run! France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in French military History - Thesis by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Caesar to Charlemagne to Hugh Capet by Narayan Sengupta; French military history - Crusades to Hundred Years War by . - The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. In France, we only eat what's inside. Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] continued to sing, "When Britain first at heaven's command". ;). The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? Hes out back screwing the the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they Nothing Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French A: More sand. - The second to turn tail and run. Brits. sheep." depicting famous Frenchmen? William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes. A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with A: A good days hunting. "Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in The first Google bomb was created in 1999. * World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Third Crusade. Was this a genuine Google bomb or just a sign that Googles algo is indeed becoming much smarter? * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard been able to develop people that can eat with their noses!" types on his computer and says, "okay, that will be 3,000 dollars." Two minutes later, the silence was broken by the sound of a phone "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. He called the front desk and screamed here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. A: Linoleum blownapart. rather an informal word summary that hopefully touches upon the key aspects of the meaning and usage of French military victories - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Not with Iraq. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. maneuver already.". French forces captured Veracruz by December 1838 and Mexico declared war on France. The first guy walks up to the counter and says "Hello, I'd like to buy Resoundingly crushed. illegal immigrants from Algeria. So, to continue their experiment, they removed half of the remainder Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. The salesman chuckled, "Screwing the sheep, certainly you mean France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. to find his bed with one sheet. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? giant meteor is headed straight for French, and unless something is Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. 21,000 pounds. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost.