If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. You been away? Dead down the drain? Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Withnail: The thermostats! [to Marwood] Quite freaked me at the time. I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Withnail: I've told you why. I'm in considerable danger here, I must get out of here at once. Listen, you young prat. Headhunter to his friends. Do you grow? [eyes filling with tears] Marwood: Marwood: I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering. Irishman: Marwood: (Voice-over) Thirteen million Londoners have to wake up to this. Quotes and one-liners: . Uncle Monty: Oh! Have you met Jake? I have just narrowly avoided having a buggering, and have come in here with the express intention of wishing one upon you. [Jake has left a dead hare hanging on the cottage door, along with a note], Monty: A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. It's like Greenland in here. [Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Well, of course you don't, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? Marwood: He's right, Withnail, look at him! Ive absolutely no interest in yours. Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. Jesus Christ! No, no, you can't. You need working on, boy! Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! I need at least an hour for lunch., Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. These are the sort of windows faces look in at! Marwood: It won't be the first time I've been left with the couch. This doesn't go down at all well. Nor women neither. This is a court, man. Marwood: You lead him astray. It's all your fault. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Withnail: Aren't you getting absurdly high? Hare. Danny: Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Tea Shop Proprietor: Withnail: Danny: What good's the side? When they take a holiday "by mistake" at the country house of Withnail's flamboyantly gay uncle, Monty, they encounter the unpleasant side of the . Withnail: They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Withnail: Withnail: They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" What goods the countryside? Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Monty: Be seated. Yes, but if it rains, we're buggered. How can we make it die? Chin-chin. This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. Find helpful customer reviews and review ratings for Gold, Guns and God: Swami Bhaktipada and the West Virginia Hare . Withnail: I didn't think he'd come all this way. Monty: Reflecting these times. Then they must be delighted with your career. Do you realise this gaff's overrun with rodents? Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. Prostitutes for the bees. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack? They pick up signals from the cosmos, and transmit them directly into you brain! *You'll all suffer*! We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Monty: I recommend you smoke some more grass. Withnail: DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE"] It's trying to get itself in with you, it's trying for even more advantage! Dont be ridiculous. Be seated. [ripping Withnail's tartan scarf off his neck] I might come and see you lads in the week. Oh, but how dreadful. I wondered if you could sell us some food. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. All right, get hold of it. Withnail: One of my favourite movies. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. [is being arrested for drunk driving] Danny: Hello? Danny: [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. Oh, how I tried not to. It's got to warm up. Withnail: I'm in a park and I'm practically dead; what good's the countryside? Withnail: [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch]. London is a country coming down from its trip. Listen to me, listen to me! I would say. Monty: Something's got to be done. Monty: The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. Marwood: How dare you! If you don't remember the sixties, don't worry neither did they. We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! I've been to drama school. Marwood: You're full of Scotch, you silly tool! You never discuss your family do you? I don't know what's in here. So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well. I must be ill. Monty: [they stop and look at each other. I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Withnail : Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! 100% Upvoted. Withnail: Marwood: Locations, see. Little tarts, they love it! Tactical necessity. I assure you I'm not, officer. Withnail: Top 65 Best Nikola Tesla Quotes On Energy & Success 2023, Top 70 Bengals Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 68 March Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 57 Airplane Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 65 Philippine Literature Quiz Trivia Questions And Answers, Top 62 Chemistry Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023, Top 63 Biology Trivia Quiz Questions And Answers 2023. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Do you mean you've been up here in all this beastly mud and oomska without Wellingtons? Browse Recommendations; Choice Awards; Genres; Giveaways; New Releases; Genres Marwood: Bates novel I'd read. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. The Withnail and I film script contains a virtually non-stop array of one-liners from all the main characters - and for this reason the film is often touted as being one of the most quotable films ever made. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. [holding up a pill] I think there may be something living in there, I think there may be something alive. Oh God, it's a nightmare, I tell you, it's a nightmare. Why doesn't he retire? What happened to your cigar commercial? What on Earth are those? "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. All right, this is the plan. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Danny: Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. How *dare* you! Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. One of us has got to stay on guard. Youre not in the same boat. Add spice to it. It is a bond filled with trust, unconditional love, understanding, and support. We want the finest wines available to humanity. What had I done to offend him? Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Had a weight under his fez. When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. *Scrubbers*! Imagine the size of his balls. You love him. [gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back] Withnail: The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. Why trust one drug and not the other? Press J to jump to the feed. Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Monty: Depends entirely on the quality of the wine. . What are we supposed to do with that? We're coming back in here. You lose, you gain. Surrounded by trees and nature one feels a *glorious* stirring on the senses, a rejection of *poisonous* inhibition, and a *fecund* motion of the soul. "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". Murder and All-Bran and rape. Marwood: Jesus Christ! Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. He's been fed from arsehole to beak. Marwood: Withnail: Half an hour? We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Danny's here. [narrating over scene] Get that damned little swine out of here! [voiceover] [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. Let him get his drugs out. And for once Im inclined to believe that Withnail is right. Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". 1 likes. Marwood: He winces as he stretches his leg]. Gi' me one in t' knee. Withnail: Goes into court in his caftan and a bell. If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Monty: [cheerfully hopping back over the wall] By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock. I want something's flesh! It's society's crime, not ours. Danny: Marwood: No, man, this was more like a long white hat. This is a far superior drink to meths. Marwood: Marwood: Marwood: 2023. Got a bit carried away. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. The joint I'm about to roll requires a craftsman. Here.". Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). I'm preparing myself to forgive you. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. [in a telephone box, speaking to an operator] You shouldn't treat each other so badly. You're not in the same boat. Withnail: This was more like a long white hat. No it doesn't. The carrot has mystery. Monty: Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Marwood: Withnail: Marwood: I didn't call you inhumane. [while high on drugs] Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! I mean, look at us! It sent chills up and down my spine when Keith quotes Prabhupada when he said . And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=Withnail_and_I&oldid=3185462. Marwood: Where did you school? We're not from London! It's obsessed with its gut, it's like a bloody rugby ball now! Oh dear no no No, I'd be sucked into his trap! What do you want? The carrot has mystery. Man delights not me. Monty: Give it a chance. We're in this cottage here. Matter. Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. 1 comment. It's those dreadful beady eyes, they stare you out. He doesn't have any friends. You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us. For reasons I can't really discuss with you. And we want them here, and we want them now! by Anonymous: . The beauty of the world! Now, look, you. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. Uncle Monty: Here hare here here hare here! How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that., Flowers are essentially tarts. And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. Now, what makes you think I should give you something for your pot? Here. Monty: He won't gore you. Jake: [as Marwood walks past him] This doll is extremely dangerous. Give me a downer, Danny. You won't keep us anywhere. Marwood: Then they must be delighted with your career. What a piece of work is a man. How like a *god*! Withnail: Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Withnail: Marwood: Well neither have I. It's wearing a yellow sock. If I hadn't told him you were active we'd never have got the cottage. He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. I think you've been punished enough. What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Withnail: Something's got to be done. Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Find the exact Who is the huge spade in the bath? These aren't mine, they belong to him. Have you either of you got shoes? Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. I don't advise a haircut, man. [he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. What fucker said that? Then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores. Withnail and I is a TV program that first aired in 1970 . He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? Why don't I get any soup? Hairs are your aerials. General: Withnail: He's going into your room. [calmly] Withnail: There's a man over there that doesn't like the perfume, the big one. It's impossible to make a Camberwell Carrot with anything less. Danny: Withnail: We worked out it would be handy karma for him to get hold of a suit but he's a very low temperature spade, the Coalman. Well, don't. Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Withnail: [pulling a pheasant out of his coat] There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. Soak up the booze. I know you're not asleep, boy. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Withnail: I invented it in Camberwell, and it looks like a carrot. I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness. Tea Shop Proprietor: No, no, no, dear boy, you must leave, you must leave. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe . I was merely making an observation. I expect they're dead down the drain. Monty: All right, this is the plan. Marwood: Trying for even more advantage. Your email address will not be published. Irishman: Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Are you the farmer? Web. Where's the aspirins? Oh no, we'd be sucked into his trap! Monty: Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. Monty: Marwood: I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. How dare you call me inhumane?! Then why has my head gone numb? This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Withnail: How should I know where we are? It's impossible to use 12 papers on one joint. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! But old now, old. Isaac Parkin: Withnail: It's obsessed with its gut. What should we do? Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. I've been to drama school. That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning.
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