SF]. Children are a major reason for living for many people who battle suicidal thoughts. Im all right, Im prepared for this! Dusty Rhodes yelled as he launched himself from the Golden Gate Bridge. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Until then, that instinct may have been obscured by depression, stress, hopelessness or despair. There are far more narcissistic dads and men than there are women and mothers. "On Aug. 20, 1985, I jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge, and I survived." Ken Baldwin was 28 years old and had just started a family. We dont like living in pain, and we look for ways of ending that pain and, being creatures of habit, we do it in old familiar ways because thats what we know. I agree with you completely, Anonymous. Has he tried cognitive behavior therapy? Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. Whether ones anchor to life is children or some other passion, it is a gift to have a reason for living that outweighs suicidal thoughts. San Francisco Police have previously said the teenager "is considered at risk due to depression." There are so many types of antidepressants these days (around 40), plus mood stabilizers, plus antipsychotic medications that can also be used to treat depression. So it is with anything else, including suicidal thoughts. Perfectly so. At this point, the instinct is what keeps me living. Sure if youve got someone/s to bail you out after your attempt, yeah youve got a reason to live. Rhodes press agent, Susan Todd, told reporters that Dusty had painstakingly calculated the speed of his fall, how he would hit the water and other details, as he did when he prepared for his movie stunts. Additionally, Hines takes medication and . We talked for a long time. He now works daily, and diligently, to manage continued symptoms that can include depression and hearing voices. I woke up on my own after my first attempt. I know how hard it is. Log In Sign Up. Car plunges off California elevated highway, 3 people killed. 19-year-old Sydney West was last seen Sept. 30. It is always wonderful to hear from someone who made it out to the other side. Me and my childrens life broke into pieces and our life will never be the same. It certainly sounds like your friends antidepressants are not working. Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. And now I have the means to do it. And for most of those whose lives were saved, life goes on for many more years to come. What happens to them afterward? Your comments are false. suicide sometimes defies even the best efforts to thwart it, University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, http://www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources/#immediatehelp, If Only: Self-Blame After a Loved Ones Suicide, You Cant Do Everything: Limitations in Helping a Suicidal Person, a meta-analysis of numerous studies that looked at bridges suicide barriers, Generally, research into method substitution, 10 Things Not to Say to a Suicidal Person. Camera footage has been reviewed and interviews have been conducted among West's friends and acquaintances, but there are no leads. Dr. Freedenthal also is an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice. But then they are stopped from jumping. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. Im recommending this because of your sense that you could have stopped the suicide from happening if you hadnt been so stupid, as you so painfully put it. Her Disappearance: Sydney West was a 19-year-old freshman at U.C. She was last seen around 6:45 am when she was dropped off by a rideshare driver. She talked to herfather on the phone the day before shewent missing. The story of Kevin Hines demonstrates the clarity that can finally appear when someones life is on the line. I hope you will read it and take its words to heart. Any suggestions? Its impossible to know but something to consider, in case youre only considering the set of possibilities for which you blame yourself. As I entered Oklahoa, something I like to think it was my Higher Powerinspired me to call my brother in Illinois and I ended up going in and out of treatment centers until I finally realized that Im an alcoholic and that there was hope for me. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. Press J to jump to the feed. I had my suicidal thoughts since I was a child I lost my mum when I was 9 years old she took her own life and even now after my attempt I still dont know how to feel about what happened to her and what I have done to my self but I know I will have to find a way to live with the impact of my attempt and hopefully find a way to some sort of happiness, Please seek help, therapy to work through your trauma, it must be so hard to have lost your mum in this way and your nine year old self could only feel abandoned, not enough to have stopped her. So in a couple days with no vehicle no money and no job, Im just supposed to trudge on, because life is precious or whatever other placating device people Banty about? Dealing with the guilt is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. Edit: FAQs https://findsydneywest.com/faq, https://www.pollyklaas.org/missing-children/sydney-west/, https://pleasantonweekly.com/news/2021/09/30/what-a-week-find-sydney-west, https://www.kron4.com/news/bay-area/searching-for-sydney-san-francisco-police-still-asking-for-publics-help/?fbclid=IwAR2uVE3anCjr5EvpUerTiD6JZxCAENR83-xIRz3TRzAfRuGckyYFzRqnobM, https://storiesoftheunsolved.com/2020/11/27/the-disappearance-of-sydney-west/. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Anyone with information is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek at (925) 705-8328 or Dudek.associates@gmail.com. The memoir Half in Love: Surviving the Legacy of Suicide captures very well, to a painful degree, how someone who deeply loves their children can simultaneously feel pulled to end her life. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. At the time of her disappearance Sydney was 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs around 130 pounds with light brown hair and blue eyes. and our Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting. Lorraine Rhodes was destitute, and asked Show Folks of America to help pay for the funeral, which they did. You also can find other places to get help by phone, email, chat, or text at http://www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources/#immediatehelp. For me, the will to live kicked in. Berkeley when she went missing on September 30, 2020. Maybe I didnt want to think he could actually do it. She was a student at Donlon Elementary and Hart Middle schools and attended Foothill High School for her freshman and sophomore years. Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge suicide net, a coarse web of steel designed to catch and cradle people who jump, is two years behind . Some die instantly from internal injuries, while others . I wonder if you might benefit from talking with like-minded folks at ChronicSuicideSupport.com. But it was my final stay at a state mental hospital when I began reading a book that finally spoke to me: Dying for a Drink, and for the first time in my life I recognized the fact that I was an alcoholic and that I had been treating major depression with a depressant. My hope for others feeling like that is they tell someone who can help them. The tragedy of suicide is indisputable. My reason to live is so I dont hurt people who care but what if you have no one who cares there was a time I had no one it was only my stupidity that got the hospital aware of my attempt. Thank you for contributing to the discussion. You might think that, once freed from the authority figures who prevented their suicide on the bridge, they still went on to by suicide. The details of your life will, of course, be different but we have our humanness in common. I tried to help her, I really did Except I didnt. I couldnt pull all the way. The Golden Gate Bridge crosses the Golden Gate Strait and connects the City of San Francisco and the County of Marin to the north. Berkeley. Obviously, I failed. Also, on the Resources page, I list a number of websites and other resources for people who have lost someone to suicide. At 10 o'clock in the morning, Ken. West's family urges anyone with information about the case is asked to contact Scott Dudek, their investigator, who can be reached at 925-705-8328. As a person who has tried countless times to end my life, even shooting myself in the head, we are stuck living with yet another feeling of failure when we fail and continue suffering. For Kevin Hines, the will to live kicked in immediately. I inherited two guns from my Dad, and I will take possession of them this month. It is true that suicide sometimes defies even the best efforts to thwart it. Theres people who love you and want you to keep pushing even if your soul reason is living to not put them through that heartache. Sydney West Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. The attempt was no cry for help. When I arrived at the #FindSydneyWest vigil in Pleasanton, I said whoever is singing has a beautiful voice. All theses years following, I did not feel good about myself, am reunited with my nephew, reading up on how to talk to him. Suicide prevention can save lives. I guess I have started to realize its not my faultits no ones fault when a loved one commits suicide. Those two have shown some effectiveness at reducing suicidal ideation and behavior. Peace be with you Steven. This is certainly true for me: narcissistic mother and sister. I have to attend Court for something I have not done, the pressures that as put on me is colossal, yetI still have to attend, I know I will collapse in court from the stress and also have a serious heart condition on medication for it. Anyone with information about Sydneys whereabouts is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek by texting or calling 925-705-8328. Video footage from the bridge has been carefully reviewed by investigators but due to foggy and smoky conditions camera views where obstructed making it impossible to tell her exact location on the bridge. In fact, Dusty told his friend to shoot from the bridge as it would be more dramatic, and besides, he would easily be able to swim to shore to a congratulatory, awestruck crowd of beach goers. Good luck to your friend, Julie, and thanks for commenting. When I woke up a day later, my depression had greatly improved. How could I have been so stupid? Someone mustve seen something nothing is being ruled out. Her family has stated that she enjoyed the area around the Golden Gate Bridge, and it was not unlike her to take pictures and go for a walk or run. Theyre asking anyone "who may have been walking, biking, running, who commute over the bridge particularly Wednesday mornings at that time" to share information if they might have seen West or anything that can help locate the missing teen. You note that installation of a suicide barrier at the Bloor Viaduct in Toronto merely caused people to go to other locations in Toronto to die by suicide. My mother battled w depression I watched her battle hard all my life and still. God Bless You. I hope he is seeing a psychiatrist for his medications, not a PCP, because psychiatrists are much more well versed in the benefits, risks, side effects, etc. The corpse was pulled from the water by the Coast Guard a mile from the bridge 20 minutes later. Im sorry youre feeling so bad that your suicide seems, to you, to be inevitable. We are going to keep looking.. I saw him hit the water like a bullet, said his wife. The main principle to this is very simple Taking energy and harnessing it for the good and nothing can go wrong.. 2023 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. . Another possibility is that the instinct to live kicks in once someone comes close to dying. "We know that there was a lot of pedestrian, car and bicycle traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge the morning Sydney disappeared. It was in 1984. Overall, a meta-analysis of numerous studies that looked at bridges suicide barriers found them to be effective. Wests parents led a socially-distanced vigil in Pleasanton last Thursday. Watching "The Bridge" -- a new documentary that captures 23 suicide jumps from the bridge . Despite having to raise two young children alone with barely a cent to her name, Lorraine refused many offers from news agencies to sell the film of her husbands demise. A. I hope you believe your words here, or at least are beginning to. Syd, Ive always loved you from the bottom of my heart, since the minute I saw your eyes open. I love to see that in the Comments section; I find it beautiful when people can connect in this way and, even more, when someone can tell another person what they havent believed for themselves. News. 2021 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved. They understand the battle with weight loss and a zillion other things but not suicide. She vanished without a trace from San Francisco, California, near the Golden Gate Bridge, a popular tourist spot for many. I fantasize a lot about suicide. Thanks again for your thoughtful comment. But the cameras lost sight of her because of heavy fog, making it impossible to know what happened. The Oscars will air on ABC and can be streamed on ABC.com and the ABC app as well as Hulu + Live TV, YouTube TV, AT&T TV or FuboTV. Interviews with jump survivors and potential jumpers . I blame myself 100% for her suicide. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. Cookie Notice Also Live Through This website has beautiful portraits (photographic but also in prose) of people who survived a suicide attempt. Especially when its an opinion so your both right. (felt good to be honest for once). The most intuitive reason is that suicidal crises are, by their nature, temporary. SFGATE news editor Amy Graff contributed to this report. Search within r/redsox. Sydney West is from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, but also grew up in the Pleasanton area. Trackback URL I just read your post. . Once her gap year was over, she moved back to California decided to attend U.C. My failure as a person was responsible for my extreme step. Be blunt and honest dont sugar coat how you feel. If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it. Sydney West's parents confirmed she was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge. I knew then that I would never try it again. A jump off the Golden Gate Bridge takes around four seconds, during which a person will reach a speed of 80 mph before smashing into the water's surface like concrete. At this point I feel like Ill just maim myself or end up locked up for a minimum of six months( yes thats happened to me). After he was rescued, he continued to live, and lives still, serving as a suicide prevention advocate at the national level. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. The family of Sydney West is offering a $25,000 reward for her return. Indie Pop Star Michelle Lambert Kicks Off the Bankhead Courtyard Concert Series! I was determined and had written a detailed letter with instructions for the police and family. West's parents are asking anyone who may have been. There is a strength within you. Anyone with information is asked to call 415-575-4444. Sadly, your post is being used by some commenters to justify the Golden Gate Bridge net boondoggle. I wish everyone could receive this gift, and I am grateful that you and others have done so! The four-second fall from the Golden Gate Bridge sends a person plunging 245 feet (75 m) at 75 miles per hour (121 km/h) to . West returned to the Bay Area for college at UC Berkeley after her family moved from Pleasanton to North Carolina several years ago. I hope you can find peace within. In this clinical case conference, the authors begin by presenting vignettes to capture the diversity of bridge suicide. Reports said West would often visit the bridge for runs, walks, and to take pictures. How Parents Can Support a Child With Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Survivor Stories Empowered Me to Live, How Ive Survived and Thrived with Suicidal Thoughts, A Personal Note to Readers of Speaking of Suicide, Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals, psychotherapist and consultant in private practice. Andrew has written for The Atlantic, Vice, SF Weekly, the San Francisco Chronicle, McSweeney's, The Bold Italic, Drowned in Sound and many other places. She was struggling with depression for years. We remain hopeful that someone knows something that will be helpful in finding her.. I hear you. And they did for the Hollywood stuntmans attempt to sail off the Golden Gate Bridge on Feb. 6, 1948. She was at Crissy Field, near the bridge. For more information, please see our The Pittsburg Sun-Telegraph on May 2, 1948. The suicide barrier on the Sydney Harbour Bridge simply rerouted jumpers to a cliff popularly known as The Gap. Thank you. So there are many, many more medications and medication combinations that he can try. I am sure your mum will be watching over you, so sad that she caused you so much pain, please seek help, you are precious, with love xxx. West was last seen on the Golden Gate Bridge onSept. 30, 2020 just before 7 a.m., according to the San Francisco Police Department. In 2013, 118 potential jumpers were talked down from their attempts and did not jump. Sydney Kaitlyn West, 19, was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge around 6:45 a.m. on September 30, 2020. Dear Anthony, [feb.6.2019 @9.26am]. This site continues to distract me from my suicidal thoughts. It is important to note that there has been no activity on her phone, bank accounts, or social media accounts since Sept. 30. At times I hate myself. Also, I've authored the books Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals and Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. Email: joshua.bote@sfgate.com and Signal: 707-742-3756, Six months after student's disappearance in San Francisco, family continues search, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. Your pain matters. Its sad how much youve suffered, and its inspirational how differently you feel right now. Where Are They Now? East Bay Wine & Whimsy (Metaphysical Market), Before & After Photos Show CA's Snowpack, Reservoirs After Storms, Best Bay Area Sandwiches + Stranded Hiker Rescued: Saturday Smiles, Sprawling Estates, Suburban Dreams: 11 Featured Bay Area Homes, Berkeley Police Warn Of Vehicle Theft Rise, The Poop On Free-Range Cats And Your Lawn And Garden [Block Talk]. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. Millions of eyes are going to locate her better than 20 sets, Jay West said. It is wonderful that having children seems to have inoculated you against suicidal thoughts. "No detail is too small," said her mother, Kimberly West. The chances of surviving. We cannot overlook that 10% of people who survive a suicide attempt do go on to die by suicide. Except that my fiance was making me depressed because he wouldnt move in with me again like how we were living together before. That's a mind-blowing statement. Now I wonder whether I also pressed reset on my brain. But the other day I told him that and now hes moving in with me again so my life is going good again! of the different medications. Its always women telling men what we should be. San Francisco police and the Orange County Sheriffs Office in North Carolina did not immediately respond to a request for comment from SFGATE. It is true that. 10 Reasons Teens Avoid Telling Parents about Suicidal Thoughts. Of the 515 people whose attempt was interrupted, only 35 later died by suicide in the years to come. Life really sucked and so did I. I blamed myself for everything that was wrong and then some. I tried by drinking mosquito poison. Or, at least, balanced! Between 1937 and 2012, an estimated 1,400 bodies were recovered of people who had jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, located in the San Francisco Bay Area in the United States.. You definitely are not alone, and it does often feel good to be honest about suicidal thoughts to speak what many people consider to be the unspeakable. I am a three time attempt suicide survivor and it has been a year since my last attempt and the ideation has pretty much left me. I wear various hats: I created and maintain this website, Speaking of Suicide, I'm an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and I have a psychotherapy and consulting practice. Both my son and I said we woud never consider it again, after that. Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. Rhodes, who also went by his native Navajo name Chief Sundown, was no stranger to danger. My sons father committed suicide and in the moments he was alive after shooting himself he kept saying sorry I shouldnt have never done this over and over. September 30, 2020 was the last time anyone saw or heard from 19-year-old Sydney West. This case has always stuck with me because I am in my 20s and suffer from anxiety and depression. "We have a lot of people that are asking us for information.". What do you tell the ones who still perceive they have no one how do I get through to him? The family of a Sydney West, a 19-year-old Pleasanton native and former Foothill High School student, is again asking the public for any information about their daughters whereabouts leading up to her disappearance last month in San Francisco. PART OF AUDACY NEWS. Your email address will not be published. All clues so far, the family has revealed, have not been fruitful. But he didnt and will never know that what he had actually solved only his own problem- feeling/depression. Her family still has hope that they will one day find her. Generally, research into method substitution has found that blocking access to a suicide method results in fewer suicides overall, even when taking into consideration those suicides by people who found other ways to die. Background: Sydney West was born on July 11, 2001. After graduating high school in 2019, she decided to take a gap year in Australia. About his dads suicide, your article helping me a lot to help. They have a good, nonjudgmental, and supportive discussions at ChronicSuicideSupport.com/forum/. For example, upon hearing me take total responsibility for the failure of my first marriage a gifted woman who is a counselor and pastor said, I typically find that both parties share responsibility equally. Im not sure that preventing suicide is such a noble act. 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This Walking Pad treadmill made getting 10,000 steps a How to get tickets for Depeche Mode's new tour dates. Take a trip somewhere I mean what do you have to lose, on your journey to wherever you may see life worth living make yourself do something. Dressed in a blue sweatshirt, leggings and Vans slip-on sneakers,. The night before she disappeared (Sept. 29) she and her father Jay West had a lengthy phone conversation according to her family. I am sure your little self felt am I not lovable enough but it was never about you, your mum was in pain and obviously thought you would be better off without her, but it is not a reflection on you, hard to accept as children are programmed to feel the centre of the world. Woke up yesterday and realized I needed to make another pilgrimage before the series begins. Its unfair. What Dr. Seiden found is a remarkable testament to the fact that a suicidal crisis is often very often temporary. He published the results in an article titled Where Are They Now? He had lost two fingers in a knife fight on the set of the movie "Scarface." I wonder what psychotherapy he has tried. So they dont die, but continue miserable lives wishing for it to be over. SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) The family of a UC Berkeley freshman who disappeared last September has offered a $10,000 reward for information in connection with the case. Required fields are marked *. Youve been through an enormous amount. And half of people who die by suicide had attempted suicide at least once previously. Praying for you. Now I dont know if I can fight it, but coping with failure and constant depression is impossible. According to Find Sydney West, there is a $25,000 reward for information that leads to finding Syd, who is described as 5'10 tall and about 130 pounds with blue eyes and blonde hair. Each year I did - 2004, 2007, and 2013 - the Red Sox went on to win the World Series. A narcissistic parent doesnt cause suicide, either lifes problems do or mental illness does. After my attempt at suicide, I tried to find information about my feelings and what others were feeling. Everything says Get help. I was driving toward the Hoover Dam bypass bridge from Memphis over 4 years ago to jump off. China sets this year's economic growth target at 'around 5%', Year after the slap, Chris Rock punches back in new special, Biden's Selma visit puts spotlight back on voting rights, Trump pitches a sequel, but shies away from attacking rivals, 20 cars of Norfolk Southern cargo train derail in Ohio, Indonesia fuel depot fire kills 19; 3 still missing, Athlete dead in shipwreck left Pakistan to help disabled son, China expands defense budget 7.2%, marking slight increase, Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway and husband are divorcing, Teen hikers rescued after days stuck in California snowstorm. At the time, a made for TV movie, named Silence of the Heart came out. I am dead broke, have exhausted both my savings and retirement stash, I am about to have my car repod and cant find a job. I would bet that most, if not all, had narcissistic mothers. More women attempt suicide but more men complete it because men use more lethal methods. Im about to be 22, medicated trying to live normal with constant suicidal thoughts. Obviously, the will to live does not reassert itself in everyone who has tried to die. My name is Steven. Copyright 2013 Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, All Rights Reserved. She was said to be very close with her family. I often think that if we are going to make up what we tell ourselves about our future, we might at least make it good. Missing person: The San Francisco Police Department is asking the public to report any information regarding 19-year-old Sydney West who was last seen on Sept. 30, 2020, at SF's Crissy Field. I pray tonight. Sydneys father believes that there is someone that may have seen something. As well, though, I believe I may have accidentally given myself something like ECT. Leads continue to come in, her parents said. The West family has also upped its reward for her return to $25,000. Learn how your comment data is processed. He had a gun in the house that he never used, was trying to sell, I didnt even think of it during this time. Confessed to my dad and got shipped to a hospital. Horrified spectators screamed and mothers covered their childrens eyes as Chief Sundowns lifeless body bobbed under the bridge and out to sea.
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